We have an exclusive leaked copy of the D23 Parks and Resorts presentation. Someone has got to be a little more careful with what they feed PUSH. Here's an overview of what we've uncovered about the present happenings and future of Parks and Resorts.
Disney Park Earnings Since D23 2009
In typical fashion, presenters will begin by reflecting on the past. Apparently Disney Parks have had their highest profit and attendance increases in recent years. Disney California Adventure has seen a 10% increase in attendance thanks to Ariel's Undersea Adventure. Walt Disney World in Florida saw a tremendous increase in attendance due to The American Idol Experience, as well as two relatively quiet years from nearby competition.
Price Dice
In a brand new D23 tradition, an unnamed celebrity will be welcomed to the stage for a special ceremony. After being greeted by those on stage, the guest will be handed a standard six-sided die. The guest will cast the die onto a felt table. The number that the die lands on represents the percent increase in admission costs to all parks.
Miles of Smiles
Following the Price Dice fanfare, Disney plans to unveil their 2012 promotional campaign, to be called "Miles of Smiles." Incognito Cast Members patrol the parks searching for guests that are smiling. Once said Cast Members find a guest, the guest's entire family will be entered for a chance to win a night's stay in Cinderella's Castle Suite, the Disneyland Dream Suite, or a deluxe resort villa. It should be mentioned that the Jonas Brothers are automatically entered into the drawing five million times each day. Nonetheless, good luck to all next year!
Villas at Disney's Grand Floridian Resort
Villas will be added to Disney's Grand Floridian Resort in 2013. Groundbreaking in set for October of this year, and reservations can be made as early as Spring of next year. Though the villas will be available to DVC members primarily, it is possible for non-DVC members to reserve these elegant rooms as well. One night's stay at one of these deluxe villas will be five phoenix eggs, eight dragon hearts, or "twenty gazillion" DVC points.
Progress at New Fantasyland
Imagineers have revised their Fantasyland plans for a second time due to guest response. "New New Fantasyland" will have even more features than guests have seen in previous presentations. The Be Our Guest restaurant will now serve quick-service breakfast, table service lunch, and five-diamond gourmet meals for dinner. Dumbo the Flying Elephant will feature not two, but three carousels. Seven Dwarves Mine Train will get a new storyline and new tech. Story will revolve around Dopey causing a cave-in. Guests launch out of the mine and all around Fantasyland. "The Seven Dwarves Mine Escape" will feature Intamin Accelerator Coaster technology, making the coaster the most intense thrill ride at Walt Disney World.
Next-Gen
Disney will be unveiling their Next-Gen queuing system with a live demonstration. New high-tech Mickey ear hats will be embedded with sophisticated cerebral scanners. Now, guests don't need to make any decisions during their visits to the parks. If a guest merely thinks "I think I'd like to ride Space Mountain now", the ride time will be automatically reserved. The cerebral scanners then initiate the guest's motor system of the brain and instruct the guest's body to walk to the reserved attraction. This technology has been rumored since 2003 when Disney sleuths spotted Imagineers at the Glendale headquarters "stumbling and swatting like zombies", but was disregarded when the animation of Expedition Everest's Yeti was unveiled.
Carsland - Disney California Adventure 2012, Disney's Hollywood Studios 2014
Owen Wilson and Larry the Cable Guy will be special celebrity guests for a progress update for Carsland at DCA as well as the announcement of a Carsland expansion to Pixar Place at DHS. A brief panel discussion will be followed by an unveiling of a giant hypno-wheel. John Lasseter will then take the microphone and whisper the chant "You will enjoy the Cars franchise. You will enjoy the Cars franchise."
Looks like we can expect some exciting news soon!
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